Saying Yes to Saying No

What better time of the year to practice the art of saying No than the holidays?  Tis the season to feel obligated to attend parties or family functions.  To overcommit, overeat, over drink, under exercise, over spend, and feel generally horrible by January 2nd!  If this has been your pattern, you can absolutely create a different experience this year, starting now.

Too Many Yeses

Starting now, practice saying no, first.

Starting now, have a few kind ways to say No.  Such as, “Thank you so much for asking!  I’m going to have to decline, but I do thank you.”  (Notice the lack of apology or explanation.  Neither are necessary.)

Starting now, make a list of the activities/ events that you genuinely want to engage in.  What will you need to say No to, in order to fully enjoy your Yeses?

Starting now, make a list of the activities, events, and people you believe you MUST say yes to…the ones that you tell yourself you really have no choice.  Say No to those first!

Starting now, remind yourself that an obligated Yes is no fun for anyone.  Seriously, would you want someone to say Yes to you just because they thought they had no choice, secretly resenting you?  Yuck.

Starting now, make a pact with yourself that you will only say Yes to what you truly want, allowing yourself to fully enjoy the holidays!

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The Joy Diet

Here’s my latest post on Wendy’s site: The Joy Factor

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If Struggling Worked

Just Try Harder

I love this quote by Victoria Castle:

If struggling were the way to get there, we’d all be there by now.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the way many of us approach work.  Often, suffering and struggling is so much a part of the everyday experience that it goes unnoticed and unchallenged.  We can automatically and unconsciously believe the lies that say if we just try harder, work longer, suffer enough,….then it HAS to pay off….doesn’t it?  We like to call it “work ethic”.  Seems more like “carrot and stick”.

[Years ago I had a coach who suggested I take a baseball cap, cut a hole in the bill, Continue reading »

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Whatever You Want

Can Do

I’ve been thinking about “permission” lately.  I see so many people (myself included) NOT grant permission to freely do what they really want in life.  I’m talking about big and small things alike.  Big as in career, relationships, and health.  Small as in what does or doesn’t go on the do-to list, in the calendar, etc..  So, I’m challenging myself to a bold experiment:  For the next 6 days, I am only doing what I really want to do — following my heart’s desire.

No blackmailing myself with SHOULDs, HAVE TOs, or WHO DO YOU THINK YOU AREs! No justifying, asking for approval, or permission from anyone outside of myself.  No apologizing for doing what brings me joy.   I’m talking about real freedom to choose moment to moment.  And, if/when I judge myself for being frivolous, indulgent, etc., I promise to lovingly bring myself back to center.

I’ll blog about what I learn….that is, only if I really want to do so!

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